Photograph; Teenage girl (16-18) sitting by laptop, woman in background. A mother? A stranger? What is the relationship and if the girl is shamed what will she think and do?
By Vicki Hoefle | Originally Published at Huffington Post. August 21, 2014 2:11 PM
We live in a society of over-sharing, thanks to social media. As a result, parents are finding creative ways to use Facebook, YouTube and blogging as a means to showcase their children’s sometimes funny/sometimes not-so-funny mistakes and the ways in which they punish them for those mistakes.
“Funny kid shaming” is a recent trend where parents point out or “get back” at their kids for the embarrassing things they do and the mistakes they make. A quick Google search and you’ll find pictures parents have posted of their kids posing (or sometimes sleeping) with signs that read:
- “I threw up in my new car seat the very first time I sat in it.”
- “I eat dog food.”
- “I threw a bowl of pasta on the carpet. Then I refused to clean it up.”
- “I opened the restaurant bathroom door while mummy was still in there peeing.”
While it’s easy to see that parents are connecting over this latest trend of sharing everyday parenting troubles, it begs the question, how does “funny kid shaming” differ from more extreme forms of public shaming?
In my opinion, there is no difference. It could be argued that parents may be trying to disguise the shaming and humiliating with humor, so that they won’t experience the backlash parents who blatantly shame their kids do. There is no difference between these two groups. Before you jump on the bandwagon of this trend, consider the damage that’s done when public shaming becomes an acceptable disciplinary tactic:
1. It can psychologically damage the child.
2. There are long-term effects on THEIR legacy.
3. It’s a THUMBS UP to bullying.
4. It’s training your kids to be submissive.
5. It models a HUGE lack of empathy, respect, tact and maturity.
6. Just because you are the parent does not give you free pass to do what you want.
7. Respect will never come from disrespect.
8. MOST IMPORTANTLY: Public shaming jeopardizes two very BIG things: the future of your relationship and your child’s confidence to navigate the world.
Kids today have far too much responsibility ahead of them to be pushed down before they’ve even learned to tie their own shoes. While the logic behind it may seem reasonable, it’s NEVER okay to publicly shame a child, regardless of how easy, “funny” or cute it may be. If we can bring this to light, we can change a major current of society, but it’s going to take a lot of conversation and common sense.
Want to chat more on this topic? Visit my website or social channels; I’d love to hear from you.
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Vicki Hoefle is a professional parent educator with over 20 years experience teaching parents, educators and caregivers how to raise respectful, responsible and resilient children. Hoefle combines her expertise in Adlerian Psychology and as an International Coaching Federation certified coach to bring parents Duct Tape Parenting, a sustainable and proactive parenting strategy that provides time-tested tools for harvesting a happy and peaceful family life.
This piece was reprinted by EmpathyEducates with permission or license. We thank the Author, Vicki Hoefle.
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