By Chocolate, Pomp, And Circumstance | Originally Published at Medium. on October 2, 2014

An Ohio couple, Jennifer Cramblett and Amanda Zinkon, whose child, Payton, is “obviously biracial” because of a mix-up at a sperm bank, is suing that sperm bank.

The Sperm Bank Fucked* Up

The couple in question chose sperm from a white man whose ID number was 380. The sperm bank mistakenly gave them sperm from ID number 330, a black man. This is a mistake; it sucks*, and the sperm bank should absolutely take responsibility.

Guess what? They have.

A month after Cramblett (the woman who gave birth) said she learned of the mistake, according to the lawsuit, the sperm bank sent her a typed letter of apology along with a refund check for the six vials of incorrect sperm that were sent to her in September 2011.

So, What’s the Lawsuit About?

The couple is suing Midwest Sperm Bank for wrongful birth and breach of warranty, citing the emotional and economic losses Cramblett has suffered.

Breach of warranty is legitimate — no one can deny that. However, how can one NOT believe that this mother feels that her baby, Payton, is a mistake if she’s suing for “wrongful birth” and “the emotional and economic losses she has suffered”?

What economic losses come with a black baby that don’t come with a white baby? The baby came out gorgeous and healthy, albeit not the color the couple wanted. That’s clearly the issue at hand. If the the mistake had involved the sperm of two white men, the couple probably could have complained and gotten their refund as they did in this case, but would they have cited “emotional and economic losses” and sued? Would they have been upset?

I don’t think so.

My Take

The lawsuit goes into detail about the racial intolerance of the couple’s all-white community — the “small, homogenous Uniontown, which

[Cramblett] regards as too racially intolerant” — their families, who apparently still haven’t fully accepted their homosexuality, and even themselves, who were “raised around people with stereotypical attitudes about nonwhites, and did not know African-Americans until Cramblett attended college at the University of Akron.”

The problem with the baby is that she’s black.

Everyone can try and explain away that people want what they want, but the truth is, people can’t choose the way their babies look. Genetics do all sorts of interesting and varied things.

I understand the sperm bank’s error. But here’s an interesting point: these women — this couple — had no problem with living in a town they refer to as racially intolerant before they had a black child. They had no problem actively or inactively participating in this portion of their community. They simply did not care because it probably did not affect them. But now it does.

In the complaint, they allege that, though they are “compelled to repress her individuality amongst family members, Payton’s differences are irrepressible, and Jennifer does not want Payton to feel stigmatized or unrecognized due simply to the circumstances of her birth.”

If they, white people, feel this way about a biracial child, how do they think parents of color or even other white parents with brown children feel every day? They, and those who support them, are trying really hard to not see their actions as racist, but how are they not? They wish their child was white so that they would not be a target for discrimination. Hate to break it to these ladies, but most black people cannot hide in a closet like many gay people can. So oppression comes whether we like it or not. It sucks*, I know, but it’s reality. And some parents, Cramblett and Zinkon now included, don’t get to choose whether their kids will be targets for discrimination.

I have to assume from their actions that because these parents can’t change their child’s skin tone, they want money to feel better about the fact that they’re now saddled with a child who doesn’t look the way they imagined she would. They actually want to be paid to endure the same treatment that brown people receive every, single day. The complaint makes a great argument for reparations, but if history tells us anything, America doesn’t have time for that.

Back to this couple though. While they don’t seem to want to combat racism for their daughter’s sake, they do want to live where racism is overt so they can pretend like it doesn’t exist. Weird. The next time someone tries to argue that American society’s now post-racial and no one sees color, I have this one question:

If for some reason your child came out a person of color, would you care, or would you not?

Because chances are, if you feel disappointment and discomfort as a result of having a brown child, you probably feel discomfort around brown people period.

* EmpathyEducates would normally not use an expletive in a public essay and still we understand the need to honor the Author’s “Poetic License.”

Chocolate, Pomp, And Circumstance is a Graduate Student, Blogger, Life Liver. Follow her on twitter @chocopompcirc.

This piece was reprinted by EmpathyEducates with the kind permission of the Author. We thank Chocolate, Pomp, And Circumstance for a wise, and insightful essay.